Your name is CRAIG and you are the MOST SUPERIOR TROLL.
Your hobbies include READING and expanding your VAST repository of FACTS. You have a very expansive PEN collection and are QUITE FOND of just looking at yourself in your PRIZED MIRROR. As for your friends, the MOST SUPERIOR TROLL does not need friends, but has them for DATA COLLECTION.
Your chumhandle is factuallyHandsome, and you think it reflects both your EXTREME GOOD LOOKS and VAST KNOWLEDGE. You speak. In a. Very clipped. And precise. Manner.